several times i've tried to be strong enough. but i cant. last night i broke down. because i'm alone. all i've been doing is listening to radiohead until my ears bleed, wishing i was away from this place. it chokes me. i cant stay here anymore, i want to be an adult. i want to be seen. but i'm scared.
kind of giving up on this website, i dont want to though. i'm going to keep trying even tho its shitty lmaoo. i'll get better though. thom yorke came out with a new album today, i'm gonna wait to listen to it b/c im that kinda chick. i'm moving as well. everthing is very stressful right now, too much to think about, for such tiny brain. trying to overcome everything at the moment, im trying to save myself from the paranoia.
recently i broke off a friendship with someone who i was very close with. i feel like this situation should make me feel angry but i'm not. i'm kind of numb to it really. even though i shouldn't be. it sort of feels like dejavu, because i'v had many other people do this to me. leaving me to the side. i feel disposeable, but gratefully i have amazing friends who care about me.
in other other news....
i've been writing a bunch of music lately, and i haven't found it to be shit yet. kaki king's song goby has been on loop here. i don't know if i'll post lyrics here anytime soon but, i do have some suggestions for whoever is readingx
banquet- bloc party
obstacle 1- interpol
jail la la- dumdumgirls
surfing the warm industry- kashmir
well, a lot of horrible things have been happening lately, but alot of beautiful things as well. i really hope i make it out this one alive, i want to.
i live my broken dreams- daniel johnston